Amar Razali

As-salaamu'alaikum,

I would like to share a very good article with you. It's The Making of an Expert.

28 November 2009 - A Year after my beloved papa (May Allah be pleased with him) passed away.

"O Allah! Forgive me my sins, and the sins of my parents, have mercy on them both as they have looked after me when I was little"

If by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools.


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
'Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

Today we had a dinner at US Pizza here in Bukit Beruang, Melaka. Kak Asmah is going to have her maternity leave for nearly 3 months starting next week and surely she will be missed. During my early days working at the department, she helped me a lot to settle all the HR-related issues as well as other employment benefits and etc.

I pray to Allah to make things easy on Kak Asmah and her family, ameen.

 

As-salaam'alaykum,

1. Alhamdulillah - humbly accepted a job offer and still waiting for the reporting date. A house has been rented, a family car has been arranged, in other words, I'm ready to get going. Maybe it's not the fanciest job, with highest paid salary but deep inside my heart, I like the company, the people and the working environment.

Where am I going to work? Here's the glimpse.

2. Alhamdulillah - thanks Abli for keep me updated with 'ilm and deen classes - an Nidaa', al Khadeem, Institut ibn Qayyim, Institut Ibn Hajar, Institut Imam Syafi'e are among names that I was being introduced. Some of them I am pretty familiar with, but some of them no. Last 2 weeks we supposed to have a halaqah with Ustadh Fathul Bari, and also a lecture by Shaykh Feiz, but unfortunately, I was unable to attend any of them since I am currently 'bonded' with my family.

As for now, I just do my own reading, currently understanding those du'as from Ustaz Zahazan's book "101 Doa Para Nabi Dan Rasul Dalam al-Quran." I still don't have the opportunity to visit Ummi Rose at Raudhatul Sakinah. Sigh. Anyway, if you have any 'ilm classes going on in your area, please let me know.

3. Alhamdulillah - I have met a lot of friends - from Vandy or SMSD. I am going back to Kuala Terengganu today with my mother and my brother Anwar, and hopefully I can see other friends who just came back from UK and kick some soccer ball =)

May Allah advanced all of us in knowledge that are beneficial, ameen. And hey - have you ever thought, how we can impact the people? That's something that I am still looking for. Hmm.

VSD Team From Left: Rebecca Weller, Ayo Ositelu, Amar Razali, Kaylen Kor

From Senior Design Day

1. Our VSD senior design managed to be into the final round for the BME Best Design Arnold Prize winner. But we lost. Congratulations to the Thyroid Surgery Visualization Unit group.

2. Our soccer team, Malay FC was in the final round for the VU Intramural Soccer competition. We lost 2-1 after leading 1-0 during half-time.

Am I going to finish strong?

VUMC Department of Cardiovascular is considering to offer us to continue doing research in the summer and afterwards of this peristaltic pump for the heart until we can come up with a real prototype.

Make du'a. I am working real hard now on the LED Chaser Frequency Sequence and Low Voltage Indicator circuits to prove of concept of our design.

Oo Allah, please make it easy on me.

Sorry, I couldn't stop laughing. It's just ridiculous.

I received an email from Auntie Fiza 3 days ago. In her email she stated the current condition of Puan Zaimun. She was at the 4th stage of some types of cancer. Puan Zaimun was the accountant at Malaysia Student Department (MSD) Washington DC couple years back. I first met her at MSD Office when I was stranded at Washington DC en route to London because of the transit visa issue at Montreal, Canada 3 years ago.

From the first moment when I met her, I quickly knew that Puan Zaimun was a very kind person. She always smile, and very humble. She also came to Vanderbilt couple of times and masha Allah when we met, she still remembered me.

And today, a friend of mine told me that Puan Zaimun just passed away. What kind of cancer I don't know.

May Allah grant her the highest paradise, make the questioning easy for her and make things easy on her and her family. For her family members, please accept my sincere condolence.

Amar Razali
Nashville, TN

Saturday, November 29 2008

Friday, November 28 2008








Kalian, tunggu kepulangan anakanda.

Assalamu'alaykum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh;

I have subscribed to the Marriage Revolution newsletter quite for a while now. (Note: That doesn't mean I am looking for marriage soon though.) One of the topics discussed in the recent newsletter was about "Who is Mr. or Mrs. Right?" What are the criteria? What should I not look for?

Well, since many of us who are in the youth age, with many obstacles, hurdles and so confused of defining free mixing and finding a true love thru Halal way, I think this topic will be very interesting to think about. This is NOT from my opinion though. It's from Shaykh Yaser Birjas who I believe many of us know. So this is what he said.

Ladies should make a decision, "If a proposal comes to me, I'm going to take it seriously. So, they have made the decision that I am going to consider marriage right now. Even if I'm not necessarily ready for it, I'm going to consider it seriously. Not that I'm going to say "no" immediately. No. I will consider it."

So, who is Mr. Right or Mrs. Right anyway? Is there even such a thing as Mr. Right and Mrs. Right?

To answer this, we have to consider a dichotomy over here; How do you do your selection? The dichotomy over here is between the best selection and the right selection. So, it's between choosing the best person versus the right person.

Many people have in their minds an image of the best person - the best selection. This is usually an imaginary image that does not exist in reality or if it does, then it is so scarce that the chances of finding that best person are very slim, taking into consideration the environment, culture, location, place of origin, how many people are in the community and so on. So this is something that is very difficult to get.

However, the right person might be around the corner - maybe your closest neighbor, maybe your cousin, maybe someone related to you or unrelated to you. The whole point here is that the right person is the best person and not necessarily the other way around.

We understand this from Hadith Jabir radhiyallaahu 'anhu, where he said:

"My father died and left behind seven or nine daughters, and I married a woman. The Prophet said: 'Did you get married, O Jabir?' I replied, 'Yes.' He asked, 'Is she a virgin or a matron?' I replied, 'She is a matron.' He said, 'Why didn’t you marry a virgin girl so that you might play with her and she with you (or, you might make her laugh and she would make you laugh)?' I said, 'My father died, leaving seven or nine girls (orphans) and I did not like to bring a young girl like them, so I married a woman who can look after them.' He said, 'May Allah bestow His Blessing on you.'"

[Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8, Book 75, #396]

The Prophet was asking this question because Jabir radhiyallaahu 'anhu was a young man and he expected that he would marry someone of his age. Jabir took a pragmatic approach to marriage.

But at the same time he made a commitment. Even though she was older than him and she was not maiden, when he was coming back home, he was getting so excited to meet his wife. Meaning he definitely had some passion for her. He chose the right person and this is the pragmatic approach and Allah will always put barakah, bi idhnillaah, if you open your heart sincerely to that person.

So again, there is the best person and there is the right person. And I'm telling you: the right person is the best person for you and not necessarily the other way round.

If you like her, then marry her.

If you like him, just marry him.

People, unfortunately, expect to know the person fully before they get married. Believe me, even if you extend the engagement to 2 or 3 years just to get to know each other, once you get married, the level of your expectations is going to change completely.

How do you explain then those who marry after a very long drawn out relationship - probably since being high-school sweethearts, college sweethearts and so on, and then after a few months or a couple of days, they divorce? What happened to them? That doesn't mean that love is not important in marriage. Yes, it is important, but the perception we have of love is totally different and that is another subject in itself.

Here again, we should think of the right person, not necessarily the best person. The best person might not be there anyway, but the right person might be just around the corner.

The recommendation again is: if you like her, just marry her; if you go and propose and you see good qualities in her - not perfect qualities - just marry her. If you like him, just like him, then the same thing: just marry him. That doesn't mean once you see her, you propose and then you just go through with the marriage. No.

You need to have some period of engagement where you can get to know each other. Consider this period like a test lab where you go and start working with each other to see how much compromise and adjustment you're going to be making after marriage. So you expect adjustments, you expect compromises, and you get ready for them.

Another suggestion for brothers and sisters, my humble and sincere advice:

Do NOT see too many people before making a decision.

Many brothers go around and they have probably seen 10, 15 or 20 ladies and they still haven’t made a decision. Ladies receive 10, 15 proposals and they are still waiting for the best person. The more you see, the more confused you will become, believe me. This is because you’ll always go back and say: Oh my God, if this character was here, this character was there, if she was like the other person I saw and so on.

So you're going to be evaluating all of these qualities to customize your selection. Even if you put all your selections on a piece of paper; if you have seen 10 women for example, or maybe you have received 5 proposals, and you put all the proposals on a piece of paper containing all the qualities, you’re going to get even more confused when you start saying, "Oh my God, if this was here, and this was in this column and so on, that would be the best person."

Well again, that person might not be there anyway. So don’t see too many people. If you see someone that you like, go for it and Allah will put love and mercy between your hearts after you get married, insha Allah.

So for the sisters again, if someone proposes to you and you think that you like the person - not necessarily love him, meaning he's okay - use that period to get to know each other. See how much compromise you're going to be making with one another and if it works out, well and good. Otherwise, there is no obligation. Still the recommendation is do not wait too long and do not see too many people. Love is very important but we need to understand it as a practical word, not just as a lip service. It's not just sentiments and emotions; it's more than that because even those who loved each other before marriage might end up with an ugly divorce.

What's the reason? It’s because once they got married, that's when the reality of marriage hit them. Before that it was all about "I love you and you love me and we're just going to have the perfect marriage" and so on. People tend to forget but when they get married, they are hit with the reality of marriage. Never make failure an option in your relationship.

If you see this person is the right person for you, you like the person, then open your heart and make a decision and may Allah bless your marriage.